Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
