apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
