? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
