ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had one of those small greek statue penises
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
