so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize