Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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