I wanna passion pit in your ass
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Randomize
