i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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