if i can run in heels then i can drive
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
