i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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