I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
