drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
