Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
