I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
