her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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