I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
