This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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