Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Randomize
