erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
