Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
