so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
