you didnt know i had herpes?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
