Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
