Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
