SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
