He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
