Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
