she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
