someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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