he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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