Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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