I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And then he peed in my hair
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