Don't you send me to vm
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
