Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
