i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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