it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
