i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
