Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want her autograph on my taint
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
