You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have tasted many bathrooms
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
