did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
