thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm jealous of your bromance
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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