turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
