dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
