Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
