i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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