Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
