we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
