remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
