I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
