he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
