maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
